My 9 year-old grandson had a rough start to life when his daddy died.  He was 2 years-old at the time and when his mom was falling apart he took his two-year-old self across the room and climbed over a few chairs to get to the tissue box, plucked one from it and brought it to her.  He’s been looking after her ever since.

When we were at the farmer’s market he spied some fresh carnations with long stems and asked me for the $2 it would take to buy one.  He wanted it for his mother.

When there’s only one doughnut left in the box and he’s salivating over it he’ll close the box and say he’s keeping it for his mom.  He knows what she likes you see.

When his mom was stung by a bee on her foot he stayed by her the whole time she slept off the poison.  When I came back from the store he asked me where the thermometer was.  I asked him why he needed it and he just said he wanted it but couldn’t find it.  So I rummaged in the medicine cabinet until I found something that would measure temperature and he immediately put it on his mother’s forehead.  He wanted to make sure she didn’t have a fever.  He relaxed when he found that she didn’t.

This is my sweet, tenacious boy that is extremely smart although still learning about life and it’s ups and downs and who is often confused as to his role here.  When I see that he is struggling I’ll offer solace in conversation and attempt to pull him out of his quagmire where he tends to become worried and depressed.  I can usually talk him back to being the shy, contemplative – did I mention tenacious? boy that he is.

He’s a deep thinker often considering your feelings and he responds quickly to requests when asked and sometimes even with no complaints.  He just needs to know what is expected of him as most of us do before we take up the battle so to speak.

I’m proud of this little guy so far.  He is capable of great potential. And great love.


I’m Too Old For This

Ok so I live with my daughter (who is a hoarder) and my 9 year old grandson (who is a hoarder in training).  They moved in with me when I left my soon to be divorced husband who wouldn’t move out or take them in and who was threatening violence over the incident of the skunk in the yard.  I smelled a skunk but apparently his nose had shut down because he couldn’t smell it so he let the barking dog out because it’s always a good idea to let a barking dog out when a skunk is around.  Anyway he let the dog out and I smelled the skunk and asked why he let the dog out when it was in the yard and he said there was no skunk and only then did I realize why he could never tell when I was making dinner.  He couldn’t smell it.  So I shut the patio door and he came storming into the house and said that if I shut that door he was going to take it off its hinges!  He stormed back out and I shut the door – the smell of skunk was still heavy in the air.  He came storming back into the house and went into the garage to get a tool to take the door off the hinges.  I told him I was going to call the police if he did that and he said he could do a lot of damage (to me) before the police got there and I asked him if he thought that was a good idea considering we were going to court soon.  He left and I closed the door.

Apparently he loved drama or he would have just gone about his business and let me close the door.

That was over 7 years ago and at the same time my daughter had bigger problems.  She had a 2 year-old and her husband OD’d on prescription drugs – took them one day and died the next.  They were from the doctor and were for pain and he took them and died right on the couch with the little guy jumping on daddy and her sitting in the chair watching him.  She called me, hysterical, and that’s when the whole thing started.  I was 61 years-old and too old for this but I left my home under the threat of violence and moved into a big house that would hold the 3 of us and a yard for the little guy to play in and all hell broke loose from the moment I made that decision to have them move in with me.  They say having children around keeps you young.  I say that having children around keeps you from realizing how fast time is flying because all your attention is on them and before you know it you’re too old to do anything.

So here it is – 7 years later going on 8 and I am still saying “I’m too old for this” even though they’re still here and it doesn’t look like they’re going anywhere anytime soon.  The now 9 year-old is threatening to become a surly teenager and I’m wondering how I’m going to handle THAT when I’m in my 70’s if he’s not out of the house and I have to live with that.  I keep telling Ian that I’m too old for his screaming and growling and mumbling like a lot of kids that are spoiled and ornery do when you think they may not be raised right but I know he has been cuz I’ve been around to see it.  His mom doesn’t let him be a brat and he and I generally have a pretty decent relationship so long as he isn’t a smart ass which he can be at times.

But it’s hard sometimes.  It truly is.  My patience wears thin and I think I can’t do it much longer and then I think if it wasn’t supposed to be this way then it would be different.  But there are times when all I can think is that – I’m too old for this. Comes a time when I won’t want to do it anymore and then things will change – I know.  I’m reaching that point even though my daughter thinks she can’t do it on her own.  But other moms have and she will too.  There’ll come a day when she’s gonna have to realize that her mom is just too old for this.

She has a problem when I bring home a date.  I say it’s her problem and not mine – this IS my house too!  She doesn’t bring dates home for good reason but her reasons are not mine.  Of course Ian is bright enough to know these dates aren’t sleeping in their cars and he starts asking questions to which I tell him it’s none of his business and he gets the look on his face that makes him seem older than he is.  What does he know about it?  When he’s sure about what dating is like he won’t ask those questions of his grandma.  And rightly so.  But I deserve a life and I’ll have it whether he’s here or not and it is still my house and if no one likes it that’s their problem not mine.  I’m too freaking old for this!!



Fat and Old

Ok. So I’m fat. I’ve earned the right to be fat cuz I’m old.  So I’m old and fat.  I do have a life of sorts. I have good friends and I’m on Facebook.  Just because you may be old and fat doesn’t mean you can’t have a life.  Men even still want to date me and a few have considered me for marriage but I’m not looking for a serious relationship.  Seriously – not long ago if a guy even mentioned marriage I put my running shoes on and I’m not a runner.  I’m too old to run but I make an exception for those times when marriage has been mentioned.  I’m old but my legs are still in good shape, however I don’t think people over 60 should ever run unless they’re forced to run like when someone pulls out a knife and the situation doesn’t call for knives. Running is not good on the knees when you’re over 60.  I don’t even have one varicose vein in my legs and I think not running may have something to do with that – but maybe not.

If I did have varicose veins I wouldn’t go to a doctor for them I would just use Varigone cream or capsules which can be found here.  Capsules: http://rainsholistichealth.net/?sn=999 and cream: http://rainsholistichealth.net/?sn=4947

Being a doctor of natural health has given me many options to drugs which just cover symptoms so I try to stay away from drugs with all the side-effects they have.  I’ve been in natural health field for over 40 years and have written a book on some of the healing ways and treatments I’ve worked with over the years.  If you want to read it go to Balboa Press and find Warrior Spirit Path of Medicine by Merida Venditti.  Also may be downloaded on a kindle from Amazon.com if you wish.  And it’s cheaper than buying a hard cover or paperback but it’s full of good information if you want to know the ins and outs of detoxing and things that go with that like the healing crisis.  The book has lots of other information in it that shouldn’t make it at all boring.

If you want to read my blog there will always be bits and pieces of the natural healing ways and some fun along the way.  Healing doesn’t have to be boring or tedious as it fits in with life in all it’s ups and downs.  There’s so much to learn and hopefully learning can be both empowering and fun.  So you’re welcome to come along for the ride if you don’t mind me being Fat and Old.  Hey – at least I don’t hurt!




A Life Aware or Does your baby know what’s going on in utero?

A friend and I were talking recently about babies and pregnancy and I remembered an incident while in my mid-twenties. A group of us – nine in all – were pregnant at the same time. A few of us worked together.

One friend was about 7 months pregnant and at that time we didn’t know if the baby would be a boy or a girl and all she could talk about was that she was having a girl.

R couldn’t wait for her little girl to be born and she was excited for the birth of her child.

I had only just found out about myself being pregnant. It was a time of excitement and wonder and changes in our lives. If you wonder about babies in utero – while they are in the womb – and if they have intelligence and knowledge of their world around them then this should tell you something about their awareness.  

I was walking toward the break room at my office where R was already waiting for me. She and about 8 others were in there talking, mostly about her daughter and her plans for raising a little girl.

As I opened the door a strange thing happened. Her baby jumped and acknowledged me with a “hello” that felt as though he had physically reached out and touched me and I could see that R jumped from the movement inside her belly. His message touched me on a psychic level.  A movement in space-time sent from his awareness to mine.  No one had said anything to me to let him know I had entered that room. He reached out and instinctively felt my presence. I was momentarily taken aback but kept on walking and joined my co-workers. He was definitely a boy and he was as aware of what was happening in that room as if he were sitting in a chair right there! Well, in a way he was – when you think about it.  The baby was absolutely aware of life around him as he floated inside his little world.

I was totally stunned that he had acknowledged me as I entered and I said, “R, your little boy just said hello to me.” She knew something had occurred just then because she had felt the movement but she wasn’t aware of the message that I had just gotten. She just sat there with a look that said it all. She was flabbergasted. From that point on she planned for a boy and he was born in December of that year.

He was an extraordinary boy for sure and he sampled life in every form, much to R’s dismay. From Goth to bright green neon hair for his senior pictures to devil worship – he did it. I always remember R talking about how the parents were to blame for children being out of control. Her son made her change her mind about that way of thinking. She was the straightest mom in the world and her son was exactly opposite.

I lost track of the boy and his mother as life has a way of evolving and moving on. I often wonder what happened to him. He let me know that babies in the womb are aware of their world, inner and outer.

Be careful how you treat yourself while you’re pregnant and know the joys of carrying an aware little being with you everywhere. Talk to your baby while you can, every moment, and let them know early on that they are beautiful and worthy and intelligent. They are listening.

Meaning of Chutzpah – Nigerian Scammers

Interesting how life often butts heads with you then throws more stuff at you when you least expect it. Seems there’s always something coming at us out of nowhere for us to deal with, sometimes in a cascade of experiences where things hit – one after another after another and before you know it you’re inundated and overwhelmed.

Ever happen to you? Well it seems that’s how it rolls.

When it happens to me I often think of several bible verses that add to my calm and bring peace. One of those phrases is “This too shall pass”. Another one is “If a man causes you to walk one mile with him, walk with him two.”

This phrase has hit me twice in the last few years as particularly difficult to endure. I’ve never had experience with Nigerians before but in this short period of time I’ve gotten to know a few and find them not only bright bordering on downright brilliant, but the sweetest people you could meet. I’m talking guys here but I’m sure the women are just as malleable.

It seems the young men of Nigeria have no work or prospects of working so they – being the downright brilliant beings they are – have come up with dubious ways to earn a living for themselves and their families. Being in a world of opposites, these guys have figured out how to scam for their livelihood – and they’re extremely good at it. So good in fact, that the world is standing at attention and it’s listening.

But what I’m hearing from people is that these young brilliant men should be shot or thrown in jail and left to die along with many other epithets and mean-spirited comments.

I disagree. If people here in America had to watch their loved ones starve due to lack of opportunities to feed our families, would we be so callus and disinterested in helping people? Think Capitalism here – the ones with enough money to start huge corporations that put people to work. This is what America is about and it works for both rich and poor alike. So next time you want to put down rich people – think what would happen without them. I happen to believe in Free Enterprise – the ability to start and run your own business. Thank heaven we have the resources and the help to build small businesses in this Country. People in African nations are given a hard time when they try to work or get licenses to work. We here in Western nations get all the help we need when it comes to jobs. Not so in these 3rd world countries.

I tend to think the Nigerians have what the Jewish call Chutzpah. They’ve got balls. In fact, one definition online that I found is exactly the word for those audacious Nigerians. Defining Chutzpah: Chutzpah is a Hebrew word that has been adopted into Yiddish and then English. Chutzpah has been defined as audacity, insolence, impudence, gall, brazen nerve, effrontery, incredible guts, presumption and arrogance. Yet something essential about chutzpah is missing from all these words.

Chutzpah can be destructive and ugly or vital and fantastic, but never in-between. So, to be a good Jew, you need two opposites: A sense of shame that prevents you from acting with chutzpah to do the wrong thing, and a sense of chutzpah that prevents you from being ashamed to do the right thing. Tzvi Freeman (Chabad.org)

I believe the Nigerians are full of Chutzpah. They’re not sitting this one out like their ancestors did. They’re not going to be poor and not let the world know that they’re more than a bit disgruntled about it. They’re not happy about their situation and they are going to let people know about their plight. Not only know about it, but they’re fixing it. And without the help of their government – who I believe is responsible for it. And they’re tired of being poor and watching their families starve. They themselves may starve but be damned if their families will. Thank Western Television that shows the world how to live – although in twisted versions of ourselves such as reality TV shows like the Beverly Hills Housewives – poor countries want all that glamour and glitz and are doing anything to have it.

So the Nigerians with Chutzpah began to scam as their option to poverty. Do they like it? I don’t believe they do. At least the ones I’ve spoken to don’t like what happens to good people and they often apologize for the inconveniences they put upon us. Some have gotten so used to hurting people over the years that they’ve become ruthless and cold inside. They don’t like that either. These are gentle people who are sensitive and very kind. Do they like to hurt you? Absolutely not. Do they like what they do? Absolutely not. Do they want to go hungry and not provide for their families? Absolutely not. So they gather their Chutzpah and they continue to do what they do.

If you want to ask who is at fault for all of this? Look into what makes Nigeria not work. Look at what is needed in this country such as industry, resources, education. Figure why exactly is Nigeria so poor and ask what can be done about it? The people of Nigeria are crying out and these guys are being heard. And they don’t care if you don’t like it.

I applaud them for their ruthlessness and their resourcefulness and their audacity – their Chutzpah. I just wish I knew of a way to help them live well without having to break laws to do so. Nothing less than total mind change is warranted here. A raising of consciousness.  And these guys are leading the way.  They want what everyone else has and they’ll not be left out. The world is smaller with the internet and the Nigerians want to live and live well.

I have one idea, however I’d like to hear more. I’m going to put it on GoFundMe.com and see what comes of it.

Are Our Prayers Heard and Answered?

This article is actually an embellished version of the one in my book, Warrior Spirit Path of Medicine (Balboa Press).
If you wonder, if you don’t know, if you just don’t get that prayers DO get answered, then this is for you.
Every work day I would drive my young daughter 10 miles to a sitter or rather an older, loving couple, which is what I liked about them.

Pam & Larry were very much in love and had been for many years. Larry adored Pam and that fact was written on his face, in his voice, and in his eyes every time he looked at her. She felt the same for him and did all she could to make him happy. It was just her way and why I loved my daughter being with her. It’s what I wanted to give my baby girl but couldn’t because I had to work. My girl was happy there and that’s all that mattered.
But things change and after awhile I had to take her from there and place her elsewhere. We both had a hard time with that but there was nothing to be done.
A few years later I heard that Larry had passed. I tried to get hold of Pam but she was nowhere to be found. Their home had been sold and she had moved out of state and I didn’t know where.
A while after that, perhaps two years later, Larry came to me in a vision. I was asleep when just his face appeared to me out of a completely black background. He said, and I quote, “Tell Pammy it’s alright if she remarries.” Then he was gone and the force of his leaving brought me straight up off the bed.
I waited for two years to find Pam. I so wanted to give her Larry’s message and knew she needed to hear what he had to say but I couldn’t find her. Then, one evening I was doing an event at a friend’s house and a woman asked me if I was the woman who had the child her mother had watched for a while. I asked her what she was talking about and she said, “I believe my mother watched your child while you were working.” I was so excited and asked her if she was Pam’s daughter and she said she was. Pam had talked of her but we had never met.
I asked if her mom was okay and she said yes and was living in Florida. Then she gave me her phone number. I couldn’t wait to get home and even though it was about 10:00 at night I called Pam. When she picked up it was like we had never been apart for so long. We talked about everything and we both cried, so happy we were to have reconnected.
Then, when all was said, I took a deep breath and told her about Larry and the message he had for her.
She started to cry and said, “You have no idea. Everyday I’ve prayed and asked Larry if it would be okay for me to remarry. I live with a man who has asked me to marry him but I wouldn’t until I knew it was okay with Larry. This man has been so patient with me!”
I said, “well now you have your answer and can marry this man. But I just want to know why it took two years to find you to give you Larry’s message.” And she said something that made me understand that not only are our prayers answered – but the message is either delayed or not given until we are ready for the results. Pam said, “Because two years ago I wouldn’t have been able to hear it.”
Pam did marry the man with Larry’s blessing. End of story.