I’m Too Old For This

Ok so I live with my daughter (who is a hoarder) and my 9 year old grandson (who is a hoarder in training).  They moved in with me when I left my soon to be divorced husband who wouldn’t move out or take them in and who was threatening violence over the incident of the skunk in the yard.  I smelled a skunk but apparently his nose had shut down because he couldn’t smell it so he let the barking dog out because it’s always a good idea to let a barking dog out when a skunk is around.  Anyway he let the dog out and I smelled the skunk and asked why he let the dog out when it was in the yard and he said there was no skunk and only then did I realize why he could never tell when I was making dinner.  He couldn’t smell it.  So I shut the patio door and he came storming into the house and said that if I shut that door he was going to take it off its hinges!  He stormed back out and I shut the door – the smell of skunk was still heavy in the air.  He came storming back into the house and went into the garage to get a tool to take the door off the hinges.  I told him I was going to call the police if he did that and he said he could do a lot of damage (to me) before the police got there and I asked him if he thought that was a good idea considering we were going to court soon.  He left and I closed the door.

Apparently he loved drama or he would have just gone about his business and let me close the door.

That was over 7 years ago and at the same time my daughter had bigger problems.  She had a 2 year-old and her husband OD’d on prescription drugs – took them one day and died the next.  They were from the doctor and were for pain and he took them and died right on the couch with the little guy jumping on daddy and her sitting in the chair watching him.  She called me, hysterical, and that’s when the whole thing started.  I was 61 years-old and too old for this but I left my home under the threat of violence and moved into a big house that would hold the 3 of us and a yard for the little guy to play in and all hell broke loose from the moment I made that decision to have them move in with me.  They say having children around keeps you young.  I say that having children around keeps you from realizing how fast time is flying because all your attention is on them and before you know it you’re too old to do anything.

So here it is – 7 years later going on 8 and I am still saying “I’m too old for this” even though they’re still here and it doesn’t look like they’re going anywhere anytime soon.  The now 9 year-old is threatening to become a surly teenager and I’m wondering how I’m going to handle THAT when I’m in my 70’s if he’s not out of the house and I have to live with that.  I keep telling Ian that I’m too old for his screaming and growling and mumbling like a lot of kids that are spoiled and ornery do when you think they may not be raised right but I know he has been cuz I’ve been around to see it.  His mom doesn’t let him be a brat and he and I generally have a pretty decent relationship so long as he isn’t a smart ass which he can be at times.

But it’s hard sometimes.  It truly is.  My patience wears thin and I think I can’t do it much longer and then I think if it wasn’t supposed to be this way then it would be different.  But there are times when all I can think is that – I’m too old for this. Comes a time when I won’t want to do it anymore and then things will change – I know.  I’m reaching that point even though my daughter thinks she can’t do it on her own.  But other moms have and she will too.  There’ll come a day when she’s gonna have to realize that her mom is just too old for this.

She has a problem when I bring home a date.  I say it’s her problem and not mine – this IS my house too!  She doesn’t bring dates home for good reason but her reasons are not mine.  Of course Ian is bright enough to know these dates aren’t sleeping in their cars and he starts asking questions to which I tell him it’s none of his business and he gets the look on his face that makes him seem older than he is.  What does he know about it?  When he’s sure about what dating is like he won’t ask those questions of his grandma.  And rightly so.  But I deserve a life and I’ll have it whether he’s here or not and it is still my house and if no one likes it that’s their problem not mine.  I’m too freaking old for this!!



Fat and Old

Ok. So I’m fat. I’ve earned the right to be fat cuz I’m old.  So I’m old and fat.  I do have a life of sorts. I have good friends and I’m on Facebook.  Just because you may be old and fat doesn’t mean you can’t have a life.  Men even still want to date me and a few have considered me for marriage but I’m not looking for a serious relationship.  Seriously – not long ago if a guy even mentioned marriage I put my running shoes on and I’m not a runner.  I’m too old to run but I make an exception for those times when marriage has been mentioned.  I’m old but my legs are still in good shape, however I don’t think people over 60 should ever run unless they’re forced to run like when someone pulls out a knife and the situation doesn’t call for knives. Running is not good on the knees when you’re over 60.  I don’t even have one varicose vein in my legs and I think not running may have something to do with that – but maybe not.

If I did have varicose veins I wouldn’t go to a doctor for them I would just use Varigone cream or capsules which can be found here.  Capsules: http://rainsholistichealth.net/?sn=999 and cream: http://rainsholistichealth.net/?sn=4947

Being a doctor of natural health has given me many options to drugs which just cover symptoms so I try to stay away from drugs with all the side-effects they have.  I’ve been in natural health field for over 40 years and have written a book on some of the healing ways and treatments I’ve worked with over the years.  If you want to read it go to Balboa Press and find Warrior Spirit Path of Medicine by Merida Venditti.  Also may be downloaded on a kindle from Amazon.com if you wish.  And it’s cheaper than buying a hard cover or paperback but it’s full of good information if you want to know the ins and outs of detoxing and things that go with that like the healing crisis.  The book has lots of other information in it that shouldn’t make it at all boring.

If you want to read my blog there will always be bits and pieces of the natural healing ways and some fun along the way.  Healing doesn’t have to be boring or tedious as it fits in with life in all it’s ups and downs.  There’s so much to learn and hopefully learning can be both empowering and fun.  So you’re welcome to come along for the ride if you don’t mind me being Fat and Old.  Hey – at least I don’t hurt!




My Crazy Childhood

I was born the third child of seven in a middle class family. My mother got sick shortly after I was born so I was passed around various family members for four years along with my older brother and sister until she was well enough to come and be our mother again.

When she finally made it home I was a stranger to her, but she desperately wanted to get to know me and so tried to make up for the four years she was gone.  By that time, for me, it was too late.  I was damaged.  Insecure, shy, awkward and a geek was me.  My brothers and sisters were sane and crazy and full of laughter and fun and I just managed to tag along on their star trails as they flew through my universe.  How I wanted to be like them!

Sickly little me – I always seemed to be sick and because I never really knew who I was or that my mother wasn’t too busy to care for me, well, she actually was – when you have four babies (twins) inside of three years, she was crazy busy (she and dad wasted no time after she got home) so I never wanted to bother her when I got ill.  I devised ways to feel better which I guess set the stage for what I do now, all these years later, healing is my tradition and I teach it to others.

I don’t know what I’d have become if my mother wasn’t out of my life in my first four years of being on this earth.  I probably wouldn’t recognize myself!  My family was closely bonded and my dad worked three jobs to feed and clothe all of us.  I know he was tired but we never lacked for love in our home.  Mom was always sick so dad worked to pay hospital and doctor bills.  Still, she managed all seven of us and as my aunt would say, “you could eat off her floors!”

My older brother was a genius.  He taught himself to be an electrical engineer by reading books and always held a steady job in his field.  My sister Ann was gorgeous and so was married when she was 17.  The twins were crazy clean freaks and still are.  One never married and the other married a control freak and stayed with him til he died. Then she celebrated instead of mourned.

My two youngest brothers were real characters. When they were very young you never saw them standing up.  They were always on the ground beating the crap out of each other.  There was never a time that they were together that they weren’t wrestling or just plain beating the crap out of each other. We just ignored it cuz we couldn’t stop it.  My youngest brother Chris used to wear a white plastic mixing bowl on his head when he was about two years old because he wanted to be a soldier.  He carried around a wooden rifle (to this day we call him rifleman) and he’d shoot at all of us.

One day when all us kids were together, Chris walked into the room and asked, “Hey, where’s Hey?”  We just all looked at him like it was the first time we’d ever seen him. I guess none of us had ever paid enough attention to the fact that he called my other brother Joe, “Hey.”  Now Joe was the second youngest, the one that Chris always fought with and he was a character and is still to this day.  So my oldest brother Ralph, the instigator, asked Chris while pointing to Joe in the corner – Chris had missed him and came looking for him – and Ralph said to Chris, “Who is that?”  And Chris looked at Ralph like he was joking and trying to pull something over on him, and said, “That’s HEY!”  We couldn’t believe it.

Some background on this.  Joe was always in trouble so every time he would be doing something he shouldn’t, all of us would yell at him and it was always the same.  We never used his name “Joe” because it was easier to use another three letter word –  “Hey”.  Whenever any of us yelled at Joe we called him Hey.  Hey! Get out of there!!!  Hey! Stop that!!!  Hey! Beat it!!!  Hey! Put that down!!!!

So naturally Chris thought Joe’s name was Hey.  When Ralph asked Chris what that kid in the corner’s name was, Chris looked at him as though he were kidding and said, “That’s Hey!  When Ralph (and we were all incredulously cracking up) explained that Joe’s name was actually Joe we will never forget the look on Chris’ face to learn that Hey was Joe.  He even denied it and went to ask mom.

If you don’t find this funny then I guess you’d had to have been there.

The twins were just plain nuts. When they were very young they both sucked their thumbs and sat on the couch very early in the morning and bounced – actually rocked would be a better word – back and forth in a very synchronized move that had to be admired in its simplicity.  Then they’d begin to argue and as they argued they got loud. They got so loud that Ralph gave them the name the Claxon Twins after the fog horns on ships.

Chris played a few instruments like the trumpet and the guitar.  When he’d play the trumpet he’d always play it at 11:00 at night when we all went to try to sleep.  No one could sleep until Chris was finished playing his trumpet.  It got old.  Ann got upset one night because she was tired so she grabbed a lemon and went upstairs and sucked on the lemon until Chris stopped playing.  He couldn’t blow while watching Ann suck on a lemon.  That does actually work!!

One morning we played “Taps” to wake up the boys.  It was very early in the morning and they had kept everyone up really late with their carryings on.  So we got even with them by playing “Taps” very very loud at around 6 a.m.  That showed ’em!

These are just a few stories from when we were growing up in a large family. When I can think of more I’ll share them.  Thanks for listening (reading). Hope it wasn’t too long.

If Your Child Is Weird

I’ve recently watched Ed Sheeran’s biography video. If you haven’t seen it then go to Youtube and watch it. It’s one you don’t want to miss. Anyway, he said he was a weird kid and I understand what he meant because I was also a weird one.

I’ve written a little about my beginnings in my book, Warrior Spirit Path of Medicine (Balboa Press) so I don’t want to duplicate all of that except to say I was passed around a lot when I was a baby because my mother was sick for four years after my birth. I never did have the bonding experience most children have and that led me to be awkward and ok, “weird” was me. I was a loner and took to nature where I didn’t feel so out of place. I was also a very sickly child and because my mother, when she finally did make it home, was so busy with my six siblings, I never wanted to draw her attention away from all she had to do so I tended my own illnesses.

Did I mention I have always been on a path of healing? It began when I was about 8 years old. I used to have anxiety attacks and the way I got out of them was to breathe and take myself into visualizations. Now in my healing work I take people into breathing therapy and visualizations. Go figure.

But Ed Sheeran also speaks about the years he had a stutter and how writing music and singing helped him.

When I was in my teens I also developed a stutter. I couldn’t finish a sentence without feeling exasperation and frustration. I began to fervently pray about it and one night, in my early twenties, I fell asleep and this is what I dreamt: I was climbing up a steep precipice, grabbing at small bushes and trees to help me around all the obstacles. As I climbed, I heard people and began shouting for help. As I got nearer the top a group of people heard me and looked over the edge to see me climbing and helped me up to the top. They were very friendly and kind and told me they wanted me to meet someone. They took me to a tall, thin man with long flowing white hair and beard down to the ground. He was dressed in blue robes. He looked at me and smiled and said they had been waiting for me and I was to stay with them for 6 months and “play ball.” With that the others took me out into a big grassy field and we literally began to play ball!

I kept a record of that dream from the time I dreamt it to the time six months had passed. At the end of 6 months I no longer stuttered. I woke up one morning six months after the playing ball dream and was able to speak without stuttering.

I’ve had prophetic dreams for as far back as I can remember. I would see things happen in dream sometimes years before they would happen in my life. I’ve always had visions and they would always be around 3 a.m. If I lost something I would ask for a dream to show me where it was or when I would get it back. Some things were found but some things were just meant to be lost and never found.

Yes, some children are strange or weird. I was one of them. But my weirdness manifested in ways that led me to the path I was meant to be on. So I guess Ed and I are trying to tell parents with weird children that it’s ok for your child to be weird. They’re meant to do something else in this life or with their lives. Don’t worry too much about them. Kids are resourceful. They’ll find their own way sooner or later. The obstacles they face are there to make life interesting and challenging. Maybe not to you, but to them. Help as much as you are asked to help. Otherwise try not to worry too much.

The Big Picture

Pardon me while I ramble. I am older and sometimes my thoughts take me to ramblings. Bear with me.

One benefit of aging is that one has more to look back on which opens your perspective of the age old question, “what was it all about?”

But in the context of time and wisdom and aging and if you tend to believe in reincarnation and the question – do we continue to live even after we die? – are we, indeed, God experiencing Itself? In the vastness of space we must acknowledge by now that we are not alone and we are souls without end, living lifetime after lifetime in a sea of experiences that help us to understand that we are never alone.

So what is it we are learning in all of these lifetimes?  What exactly is the Big Picture of life?

For me, life is never-ending.  It is time spent experiencing everything Human.  We experience in every human aspect – physical, emotional, spiritual and mental.  We experience life in many dimensions and worlds although most of us ignore that fact.  We often don’t acknowledge emotional pain but hide it behind drugs and alcohol.  I think that’s why I don’t try to soothe my emotions with drugs or alcohol.  I do chocolate instead.  Drugs and alcohol deaden the emotions and what is life without emotion?  When we emote – which is different than when we feel – emotion is a wave, a depth so intense that we know without a doubt that we are truly alive.

Take for instance Grief.  Nothing robs the life of a body as thoroughly as Grief.  The intensity of Grief makes one feel as though there is nothing left to give.  It is life-draining.  It is devastating and oh so difficult to come back from.  It is all encompassing and as close to suffocating as one can feel without actually stopping breathing.  It is difficult to breathe through Grief.  Grief is heavy and weighs the body down.  It is difficult to walk through Grief.  Grief is pure emotion.  We don’t FEEL Grief.  We EMOTE through it.  You can hide feelings.  You can’t hide emotions.

The Big Picture of life is pure experience.  It is time and space offering what we need to move beyond and into a broader reflection of ourselves.  That reflection is either in or on a higher vibration that brings us to a new awareness of experience and experiencing ourselves through our own awareness of ourselves.  There is no right or wrong to life in the Bigger Picture because there is no judgement.  Our God is too big.  Our lives are pure reflections of ourselves as seen through the eyes of what we call GOD.  The actuality of GOD is purely speculation as GOD is mysterious and without end.  So how do we know or even think we KNOW what GOD is?

Enlightenment is the breakdown of our preconceived notions about what we always thought we knew.  Enlightenment strips away all we thought we knew and introduces us to a Greater Reality.  Events in our lives lead us to many paths in the Big Picture.  Some are born enlightened.  Others have to study most of their lives before they become enlightened.  But in the Big Picture we all will attain enlightenment.

It is in our DNA to become so.

However we get there is all experience and part of the Big Picture and the older you get the more this is understood.  That’s the beauty of aging.


I don’t know about you but as I’ve gotten older, and having been there myself, it seems so many people hurt from some kind of malady such as arthritis and something called “Fibromyalgia.”  Visiting support sites on the internet for people with Fibromyalgia or “Fibro” it appears there are people suffering numbering in the thousands.

Why are there so many people who have muscle and joint aches and pains?  I’m appalled.  Of course when I began hurting in my 40’s I was to the point of total frustration that my body wouldn’t move and I was only in my 40’s! What was going on?

So I began to research and then I had a dream that told me I needed “minerals” and I had to look them up.  I thought minerals were in vitamins but those are “macro” minerals and those are not the only minerals we need.  I found out that the body needs something called “trace” minerals – minerals that we used to get from plants grown in soils that used to be rich in trace minerals.  Trace minerals activate enzymes and enzymes are needed by the stomach and digestive system to help break down our foods.  If we’re not getting traces of minerals from vegetables because the soils are deficient then how are we getting the minerals we need?

We’re not.  That’s the problem.  Without trace minerals we are not getting the very basics of nutrients needed to keep our bodies functioning at the most basic level.  Did you know that the thyroid is the storehouse for iodine – a trace mineral?  And if we’re not getting iodine in our food the body doesn’t absorb the nutrients from the foods we eat?  Without iodine the body literally begins a process of starvation.  We get iodine from shrimp, crab and lobster and from black walnuts so taking a tincture of black walnut helps us to get the iodine we all need.

Without trace minerals the stomach pulls minerals from the bones and joints and muscle.  When you add sugar into the diet it compounds the problem.  Sugar burns too hot for the body – it literally lights up muscles and even the brain.  Sugar stored in muscles equals pain.  It makes the blood sticky.  It gums up the organs of the body and causes the body to age rapidly.  If you have Fibro or any autoimmune disease you really want to stop all sugar.  Drink only pure alkaline water because when you hurt your pH is mostly acidic.

Remember this: the more you hurt the more you need trace minerals.  Trace minerals activate enzymes in the stomach.  You know when you’re trace mineral deficient when your stomach gurgles and makes noise constantly.

When I hurt years ago I listened to my dreams and began taking trace minerals in large amounts. Minerals are not fat soluble so what you take in excess doesn’t stay in the body but is eliminated.  After three weeks of taking minerals I could feel my muscles begin to “unravel” and the pain in my arm went away.  I continued taking minerals until my body began to feel so much better.  Now there’s liquid trace minerals called “Ionic Minerals” which are instantly absorbed by the cells in the body.

I woke up one morning recently and couldn’t understand why my body was uncomfortable.  I soon realized that I hadn’t taken my trace minerals in weeks!  I instantly took them and my achiness completely went away.

I found out that we don’t have to live in pain if we know how to balance the body with supplements.  Want a good minerals supplement?  Check these out! http://www.rainsholistichealth.net/?sn=310


Having never paid much attention to my skin for the majority of my life – the last few years have changed all of that for me.  One day I looked in the mirror and realized I didn’t like how my skin was reflecting back at me.  I decided I was going to find a way to change that.

I began using a skin-care regimen consisting of natural products like snow algae and black seed oil and coconut oil.  I’ve tried various products and was careful to read the fine print because there are some products out there that caution about causing cancer. Big RED FLAG!

I opted for natural oils and botanicals and over the last few years have seen a noticeable change in how my skin looks. Now when I look in the mirror I see brighter skin that doesn’t have that aging “orange-peel” appearance.  I never knew what that was until I looked closely a few years ago.  Most aging skin is simply dehydration so make sure you drink plenty of water.  If you’re lucky enough to have natural oils that your body produces then all you have to do is find the right cleansers and toners.

Keep in mind that skin care products don’t have to be expensive in order to work well. You may also want to find a local salon where you will find estheticians who will give you skin care tips and great facials, which I plan on making part of a regular routine.

I’ve found some wonderful skin care products that are relatively inexpensive compared to many of the products out there and they are very natural ingredients, low or non-chemical.  You may want to check out a great natural product for skin here: https://www.modere.com/ProductDetail/m1-anti-aging-collection/?referralCode=j267338.