Emotional Healing Work

Grandmother brought up a good point in one of her teachings. Feelings are different than emotions.  You can hide your feelings because they are superficial and can be hidden away.  Feelings are something you can gloss over and laugh about. You can have a feeling without a reaction to it.

Emotions, on the other hand, run strong and deep and you can’t run from them. Emotions arise out of a strong reaction to something you’ve experienced such as a let down or trauma or extreme joy such as a proposal or life changing event. It evokes joy, tears, anger, an outburst of some kind.

It’s almost impossible for anyone not to show their emotions to a life changing event.

In our society, we aren’t taught how to handle our emotions.  There’s no place to go to strongly emote anger or frustration.  We’re expected to hold it all in.

So one day when a woman walked into my office and told me I had to help her because she didn’t want to end up in a hospital for mental patients because she was losing it I was immediately challenged.  I had to come up with something fast.  This person was totally overwhelmed and asking for immediate help with her emotional state of being.

So, okay. I had to pull a rabbit out of my hat on a moments notice. I opted to take her on an inner journey so she could address whatever demons were making her distraught.  No one goes through those kinds of emotional ups and downs without demons.  We pick them buggers up from various places.  Drinking opens portals for them to come through.  It could be a glass of wine or a binge drinking episode. Doesn’t matter.  Alcohol opens the aura’s protection grid.  So do drugs.  They don’t call them “spirits” for nothing.

Session begun.  Patient comfortable and ready.  The journey begins. Throughout the walk down into subconsciousness it is evident she is comfortable with the process.  I walk her through where she needs to be to address what’s bothering her.  She stays there and her breathing settles and evens out.  Her body language changes from fraught and overwhelmed to calm and in control.  She’s dealing with whatever had surfaced and is ready to come back to consciousness.

Sometimes we just need a little help.

When the patient is conscious once again and able to talk about her experience she is calmer. She knows she’s in control and she’s fine. She can talk about what she saw and how she handled it if she so desires. It’s up to her. She tells me of her experience and I’m honored she felt she could share.

The purpose of an inner journey is to empower you in whatever way you need to feel empowered.  It is not my empowerment – nor is it about anyone but you.  It is whatever you need in whatever moment you’re in.

We need to find ways to handle our emotions. An inner journey is one way.  It works and it should be considered as an option when you are feeling out of control.

#innerjourney #gethelpnow #helpme #drowninginemotion

 

 

Mirroring Abuse – Surviving Abusive Relationships

 

Life. It’s all about perception and attitude.  My attitude about a lot of things differs from others in that if something comes at you, deal with it and move on.  Much of it is karma so you’re best off if you become a “karma chameleon” and change with the colors that you’re confronted with.

I’ve been married twice.  When people ask why, instead of going into all the excuses of misery shared, I just tell them I like to change men once every 20 years or so to keep things interesting.

Wisdom comes with age and as you age you begin to realize many things about people and perceptions. I realized that I wasn’t the person that I was perceived to be. The perceptions about me didn’t match who I was so I didn’t feel I had to be directly responsible for giving in to what was expected of me by those doing the perceiving. I’m talking about living in abuse. A person’s distortions of perception manifest oftentimes as abuse. In making that break, I became the person I truly am and those people are no longer in my life. I lived for 20 years in abuse. I guess I’m an expert on it. I’d like to share just a little about how I handled it.

Throughout my fair existence on this beloved Earth I have learned how to manifest my desires and be at peace within myself. In my relationships, my marriages of which there were two, there were times when I faced violence by becoming the mirror and reflecting back what was directed toward me, successfully and peacefully. I mirrored back the pain and anger and turned it around each time. I didn’t re-Act to the person. Arguments, for me, are a waste of energy so I don’t participate. Instead I responded in a responsible way and was never harmed.

I’ll explain. My first marriage was turbulent to say the least. It started as a war zone – one trying to establish dominance when that person had no idea who he was – or that he was married to a free spirit. You can’t cage a free spirit in any way. He tried and failed miserably. I never saw that side of him til after the wedding vows. When I asked about the abrupt turn-about he said, “it’s because I’ve got you now.” Number one mistake was that he thought I would never file for divorce.  For me, courage comes from a deep resolve to not live a life you don’t choose. If a life you’re living is not one you choose to live, then change it. My idea of home was always happy and full of fun. To have it full of violence and arguments was not of my choosing. A home should be a sacred place where you feel safe and where you can retreat from what is happening on the outside.  Someone once said that courage is just the other side of fear. My fear of living in a violent home was stronger than my fear of dying. I’d rather die than live a life of fear.

I stood my ground when he threatened to hit me. He was much bigger than I was and I knew I’d never be able to beat him physically. All I had were words. So I told him if he were going to hit me that he’d better kill me, because if he didn’t I’d make him wish he had. That made him stop and think. When he stopped I used more words. I told him he liked to sleep too much and I was really good with a baseball bat. That made him think some more. Then I threatened his “stuff” like his motorcycle. I told him he wouldn’t recognize it if he let me get up after he hit me so he may as well kill me right now, this fucking minute.

I mirrored his violence back at him and he didn’t like it at all. He never did hit me. Not ever in the 20 years we were together. He used other means to try to tear me down – emotionally. It worked for awhile. He had me wondering in the beginning if it was me that was nuts. But somewhere into the early years I figured out that it wasn’t me at all. He would call me names and I even mirrored that back when I said to him, “well, if I’m all those things it sure doesn’t say much for your taste in women.” He stopped calling me names after that. Another time, after I was sick of listening to his foul language, I began talking like he talked. One day he looked at me and said, “That language sounds terrible coming from you!” I simply said, “If I have to listen to it motherfucker so do you!” After that he stopped swearing so much. I was getting pretty good at this mirroring thing. I responded without judgement toward him and I didn’t judge myself. It occurred to me that judgment is a waste of time and only weakens the spirit so why do it? Since I gave up judging myself and others life has been so much freer and better.

He walked a fine line between sanity and insanity and it wasn’t my cross to bear. I let him go early on but stayed because I never had the desire to start again. Until someone came along after awhile and showed me how good life could be.

I knew I’d never sacrifice my life or sanity to another man again. That was the gift given to me by my first marriage and I took that away with me and lived happily for awhile until my second husband did an about face when he stopped drinking. Alcohol was his curse. Or was it a lack of alcohol? I get confused. But that’s another story.

 

 

 

 

The Big Picture

Pardon me while I ramble. I am older and sometimes my thoughts take me to ramblings. Bear with me.

One benefit of aging is that one has more to look back on which opens your perspective of the age old question, “what was it all about?”

But in the context of time and wisdom and aging and if you tend to believe in reincarnation and the question – do we continue to live even after we die? – are we, indeed, God experiencing Itself? In the vastness of space we must acknowledge by now that we are not alone and we are souls without end, living lifetime after lifetime in a sea of experiences that help us to understand that we are never alone.

So what is it we are learning in all of these lifetimes?  What exactly is the Big Picture of life?

For me, life is never-ending.  It is time spent experiencing everything Human.  We experience in every human aspect – physical, emotional, spiritual and mental.  We experience life in many dimensions and worlds although most of us ignore that fact.  We often don’t acknowledge emotional pain but hide it behind drugs and alcohol.  I think that’s why I don’t try to soothe my emotions with drugs or alcohol.  I do chocolate instead.  Drugs and alcohol deaden the emotions and what is life without emotion?  When we emote – which is different than when we feel – emotion is a wave, a depth so intense that we know without a doubt that we are truly alive.

Take for instance Grief.  Nothing robs the life of a body as thoroughly as Grief.  The intensity of Grief makes one feel as though there is nothing left to give.  It is life-draining.  It is devastating and oh so difficult to come back from.  It is all encompassing and as close to suffocating as one can feel without actually stopping breathing.  It is difficult to breathe through Grief.  Grief is heavy and weighs the body down.  It is difficult to walk through Grief.  Grief is pure emotion.  We don’t FEEL Grief.  We EMOTE through it.  You can hide feelings.  You can’t hide emotions.

The Big Picture of life is pure experience.  It is time and space offering what we need to move beyond and into a broader reflection of ourselves.  That reflection is either in or on a higher vibration that brings us to a new awareness of experience and experiencing ourselves through our own awareness of ourselves.  There is no right or wrong to life in the Bigger Picture because there is no judgement.  Our God is too big.  Our lives are pure reflections of ourselves as seen through the eyes of what we call GOD.  The actuality of GOD is purely speculation as GOD is mysterious and without end.  So how do we know or even think we KNOW what GOD is?

Enlightenment is the breakdown of our preconceived notions about what we always thought we knew.  Enlightenment strips away all we thought we knew and introduces us to a Greater Reality.  Events in our lives lead us to many paths in the Big Picture.  Some are born enlightened.  Others have to study most of their lives before they become enlightened.  But in the Big Picture we all will attain enlightenment.

It is in our DNA to become so.

However we get there is all experience and part of the Big Picture and the older you get the more this is understood.  That’s the beauty of aging.