I’m Too Old For This

Ok so I live with my daughter (who is a hoarder) and my 9 year old grandson (who is a hoarder in training).  They moved in with me when I left my soon to be divorced husband who wouldn’t move out or take them in and who was threatening violence over the incident of the skunk in the yard.  I smelled a skunk but apparently his nose had shut down because he couldn’t smell it so he let the barking dog out because it’s always a good idea to let a barking dog out when a skunk is around.  Anyway he let the dog out and I smelled the skunk and asked why he let the dog out when it was in the yard and he said there was no skunk and only then did I realize why he could never tell when I was making dinner.  He couldn’t smell it.  So I shut the patio door and he came storming into the house and said that if I shut that door he was going to take it off its hinges!  He stormed back out and I shut the door – the smell of skunk was still heavy in the air.  He came storming back into the house and went into the garage to get a tool to take the door off the hinges.  I told him I was going to call the police if he did that and he said he could do a lot of damage (to me) before the police got there and I asked him if he thought that was a good idea considering we were going to court soon.  He left and I closed the door.

Apparently he loved drama or he would have just gone about his business and let me close the door.

That was over 7 years ago and at the same time my daughter had bigger problems.  She had a 2 year-old and her husband OD’d on prescription drugs – took them one day and died the next.  They were from the doctor and were for pain and he took them and died right on the couch with the little guy jumping on daddy and her sitting in the chair watching him.  She called me, hysterical, and that’s when the whole thing started.  I was 61 years-old and too old for this but I left my home under the threat of violence and moved into a big house that would hold the 3 of us and a yard for the little guy to play in and all hell broke loose from the moment I made that decision to have them move in with me.  They say having children around keeps you young.  I say that having children around keeps you from realizing how fast time is flying because all your attention is on them and before you know it you’re too old to do anything.

So here it is – 7 years later going on 8 and I am still saying “I’m too old for this” even though they’re still here and it doesn’t look like they’re going anywhere anytime soon.  The now 9 year-old is threatening to become a surly teenager and I’m wondering how I’m going to handle THAT when I’m in my 70’s if he’s not out of the house and I have to live with that.  I keep telling Ian that I’m too old for his screaming and growling and mumbling like a lot of kids that are spoiled and ornery do when you think they may not be raised right but I know he has been cuz I’ve been around to see it.  His mom doesn’t let him be a brat and he and I generally have a pretty decent relationship so long as he isn’t a smart ass which he can be at times.

But it’s hard sometimes.  It truly is.  My patience wears thin and I think I can’t do it much longer and then I think if it wasn’t supposed to be this way then it would be different.  But there are times when all I can think is that – I’m too old for this. Comes a time when I won’t want to do it anymore and then things will change – I know.  I’m reaching that point even though my daughter thinks she can’t do it on her own.  But other moms have and she will too.  There’ll come a day when she’s gonna have to realize that her mom is just too old for this.

She has a problem when I bring home a date.  I say it’s her problem and not mine – this IS my house too!  She doesn’t bring dates home for good reason but her reasons are not mine.  Of course Ian is bright enough to know these dates aren’t sleeping in their cars and he starts asking questions to which I tell him it’s none of his business and he gets the look on his face that makes him seem older than he is.  What does he know about it?  When he’s sure about what dating is like he won’t ask those questions of his grandma.  And rightly so.  But I deserve a life and I’ll have it whether he’s here or not and it is still my house and if no one likes it that’s their problem not mine.  I’m too freaking old for this!!

 

 

Tatoos

I’m not into body art.  I think the body is beautiful just as it is.  Apprenticing with a Cherokee medicine woman for many years one learns a thing or two about life and consequences of actions and thoughts.  For every action there is a re-action stands out in the case of tattoos.

Speaking to people about this gains insight into the teachings brought to my door as an apprentice.  Feedback is valuable and in the case of tattoos you may want to make a few notes.  While you may be attracted to this form of art, realize there are consequences.

We were taught as apprentices that every cell of the body is an intelligence.  I’ve witnessed this intelligence first-hand but that’s another article.  Every cell communicates and has intelligence.  So what happens when you apply permanent ink to your skin, which has the intelligence of millions of cells?

Before you get inked, consider carefully what you want to have reflected out from your body into the Universe.  For what you ink on your skin reflects and draws to you that which you put on it.  Don’t get a tattoo if you’re drunk.  Drinking alcohol and doing drugs opens you up to the lower world entities as it is and that’s dangerous enough without adding a tattoo without giving it some forethought.

Only put on your body what you wish to attract.  Stay away from confusion or confusing art forms.  Things like monsters and skulls may draw monsters and death.  Death is multi-faceted.  There are many ways to die.

One person with higher intelligence had a phoenix tattoo and said her life changed so much for the better after she had it done.  Fairies (the good kind) and butterflies are creatures of protection and change.  Celtic or other ethnic symbols of protection, abundance and love are advantageous.  Anything that reflects happiness, abundance, goodwill, joy and positive experiences are things to consider.

Of course, there are always people who challenge life and want adventure.  Good luck with that!  Tattoos are yourself reflecting back at you and drawing to you that which you put out into the world through the intelligence of your skin – the way you are seen by the world.  And the way the world sees you.  It is more than you think.  Tread this medium lightly. Think about the symbol(s) you put on your skin.

If you could see yourself through the eyes of the spirit you would see a gloriously shining aura around you.  Every cell lighting up into beams of light that radiate out many feet around us.  We are light-beings and it is an awesome sight!  That light represents the cells communicating.  The worlds that the cells communicate with.  The intelligence of ourselves.  We haven’t begun to fathom who we are because we don’t allow ourselves to see the totality of us in all our glory and awareness.

Be aware of your cells and their intelligence and avoid wearing something permanent on your skin unless you want it to bring you joy.  Just sayin’.